My boy is getting on really well with his new tutor, they are slowly but surely building a good rapport and making good progress all the time. They have started to work on subjects within the ciriculum and his tutor is very impressed. He is amazed that a child who has been out of school for so long is still ahead of his peers in many subjects. My boy seems to have a knack for just absorbing information and remembering it. Apprently the tutors job is also to try to get him back into school, but despite many attempts and copious amounts of encouragement it just isn't happening. However when he is happy and at home feeling safe they can cover lessons quickly and easily with his answers being thoughtful and mature.
We have been to another review of how things are going and even though his SENCo felt he hadn't seen any progress, ie he's not attending school, everyone else was most pleased as he's engaging in his lessons and actually learning! So much so that they suggest he choses his options (just incase he does return) and start studying with a view to taking a few GCSEs. Oh, and the emphasis is no longer on getting him to attend his school but just to get him out of the house. That should be interesting as my boy does not enjoy going out. The sensory side of things takes over when out and about not to mention the unpredictability of things and expectations required of him. All trips are a complete nightmare for him and his anxiety levels go through the roof.
Having said that tomorrow he's having his haircut, it's all a bit too hair bear bunch at the moment! Haircuts are a major sensory nightmare which he can only cope with when he feels completely ok so they are generally only attempted during school holidays when he has nothing else to stress him out. It also helps that he has gradually over time built up a real trust in our hairdresser, who's is absolutely amazing with him. Not to mention super fast with the scissors!
After that I'm hoping he'll feel ok enough to visit my parents for the afternoon, but we will see. Two outings in one day may be just a bit too much!
Thursday, 16 February 2012
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Cobwebs and Neglect
Oh dear I appear to have been neglecting this blog somewhat and it's about time I brought it up to date. This may be a long post....
Well, things with my boy went from bad to worse as his stress and anxieties took over again. Everything started to become a bit too much as my husband needed my car as the company van was no longer his to use. This impacted on my boy severely as he has problems walking due to his hypermobility and sensory issues plus it's quite a walk to the school. I was trying to compensate for this by booking cabs to get him there and then let him walk home at his own pace after his lessons. But he was too distressed thinking about the walk home to cope with his lessons, not too mention the distress caused by cabs turning up late or getting here early and therefore getting to the school early and having to wait there. Eventually it all proved too much and he had a huge regression, shut down and refused school.
My mum kindly offered to buy me a secondhand Ka so I could get my boy to and from school and generally out and about, as by now he was refusing to leave the house as well. I certainly can't afford a car myself as due to the credit crunch/recession/whatever you want to call it my husband's own company collapsed and we were very short of cash. (Luckily he had found another job but it didn't pay any where near as well as previously). I gladly took mum up on her offer. Sadly it was already too late. I tried so hard each day to help my boy back to school but the anxiety and stress of pretty much going back to square one has taken it's toll and I was only managing to get him in occassionally each week and even then it was a huge struggle with meltdowns and panic attacks. It's so distressing to see him in this state.
A meeting was called at the school and various professionals turned up but no one had a decent suggeston other than I must get him into school more! Hmmmm as if I didn't know and hadn't tried that. The meeting was worse than useless. It was agreed I would keep trying and we would review the situation just before the summer holidays as that would give them chance to think of a solution.
The next meeting arrived and low and behold no improvement and oh yes they had no solution! No extra help or support, nothing! By now the only support we had was a Child Psychiatrist who visited once a quarter to review my boys medication. That's despite the fact that although his diagnosis is Asperger Syndrome (An autistic spectrum disorder) along with hypermobility and sensory processing disorder is techically considered by some quarters to be a mild version of autism, he is actually classed by the local education authority and his psychiatrist to be SEVERE! But there is no Occupational Therapy input for his sensory and hypermobility problems because there are no resources. If he has their expertise his sensory problems could be helped by their input and therapies. There is no other help from CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) other than to medicate because of no funding despite the fact that someone needs to help him with his anxieties and fears as to why he can't cope at school, even though he WANTS to go. As for the school the SENCo offered to visit him at home to talk it over but when the came all they did was say you must attend! Not much help there then.
So it was decided to meet again in the new school year in the hope that maybe with it being a new school year things would improve!?
September came and he managed to attend his lunch club for the 1st 3 days at which point he was given a timetable with only one accessible lesson next to a lunch club slot, the rest of the lessons were all over the place which would mean going back and forth a few times each day, which considering he was struggling with just once a day, was ridiculous. Not suprisingly he just couldn't cope. All weekend he was extremely distressed and only managed to go in for one day the next week for a lunch club. He agreed to go in the following week for a lunch club and a lesson but just couldn't do it. He started to refuse from then on in. It was so frustrating as the school had completely gone back on their agreement from the previous year of keeping his lessons next to lunch sessions and he was devastated.
By the time it got to the next meeting I was extremely worried as to what would happen or be suggested. I have to admit it certainly wasn't pleasant as it turned into a blame the parent. So I turned it round and asked exactly what they could all do to help, exactly what support could they provide? Yes you guessed it - the most popular answer was 'ummm, errrr, well, there are no resources/funding (delete as applicable)'. Funnily enough despite the 'no funding' for resources at CAMHS and no help from her corner, the psychiartrist started to push for residential schooling! The lady from the local Education authority looked like she was about to faint at that suggestion as they certainly couldn't afford to pay out for that, so she tried to suggest more help in the way of councelling or other therapy from CAMHS who again said 'not enough staff/funding/resources'. So again they tried the blame the parent tactic at which point the SENCo said 'this is getting nowhere, someone has got to help' and suggested he visit my boy at home with a view to maybe trying a lesson there. Suddenly everyone agreed and it was left at that to be reviewed in the new year. If it wasn't a serious matter of a child's education it would be almost laughable.
To this day I will never know why but in the week after half term we recieved a phone call from the local education authority saying that they had arranged home tuition for my son and I would be contacted shortly!!! I couldn't believe it. This is exactly the break we had been hoping for as I had sought advice from the fantastic IPSEA and had been about to seek a medical letter to say my boy was unable to attend school on medical gounds (goodness knows we had enough detailed medical evidence of anxiety) and therefore they would have been duty bound to provide Home Tuition. For once we had been given something without having to push for it!!!!
My boy now has a fantastic tutor who really understands him and has taken the time to build an excellent rapport with him.
I'll let you know how it's going next time as I can hear my housework calling...
Well, things with my boy went from bad to worse as his stress and anxieties took over again. Everything started to become a bit too much as my husband needed my car as the company van was no longer his to use. This impacted on my boy severely as he has problems walking due to his hypermobility and sensory issues plus it's quite a walk to the school. I was trying to compensate for this by booking cabs to get him there and then let him walk home at his own pace after his lessons. But he was too distressed thinking about the walk home to cope with his lessons, not too mention the distress caused by cabs turning up late or getting here early and therefore getting to the school early and having to wait there. Eventually it all proved too much and he had a huge regression, shut down and refused school.
My mum kindly offered to buy me a secondhand Ka so I could get my boy to and from school and generally out and about, as by now he was refusing to leave the house as well. I certainly can't afford a car myself as due to the credit crunch/recession/whatever you want to call it my husband's own company collapsed and we were very short of cash. (Luckily he had found another job but it didn't pay any where near as well as previously). I gladly took mum up on her offer. Sadly it was already too late. I tried so hard each day to help my boy back to school but the anxiety and stress of pretty much going back to square one has taken it's toll and I was only managing to get him in occassionally each week and even then it was a huge struggle with meltdowns and panic attacks. It's so distressing to see him in this state.
A meeting was called at the school and various professionals turned up but no one had a decent suggeston other than I must get him into school more! Hmmmm as if I didn't know and hadn't tried that. The meeting was worse than useless. It was agreed I would keep trying and we would review the situation just before the summer holidays as that would give them chance to think of a solution.
The next meeting arrived and low and behold no improvement and oh yes they had no solution! No extra help or support, nothing! By now the only support we had was a Child Psychiatrist who visited once a quarter to review my boys medication. That's despite the fact that although his diagnosis is Asperger Syndrome (An autistic spectrum disorder) along with hypermobility and sensory processing disorder is techically considered by some quarters to be a mild version of autism, he is actually classed by the local education authority and his psychiatrist to be SEVERE! But there is no Occupational Therapy input for his sensory and hypermobility problems because there are no resources. If he has their expertise his sensory problems could be helped by their input and therapies. There is no other help from CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) other than to medicate because of no funding despite the fact that someone needs to help him with his anxieties and fears as to why he can't cope at school, even though he WANTS to go. As for the school the SENCo offered to visit him at home to talk it over but when the came all they did was say you must attend! Not much help there then.
So it was decided to meet again in the new school year in the hope that maybe with it being a new school year things would improve!?
September came and he managed to attend his lunch club for the 1st 3 days at which point he was given a timetable with only one accessible lesson next to a lunch club slot, the rest of the lessons were all over the place which would mean going back and forth a few times each day, which considering he was struggling with just once a day, was ridiculous. Not suprisingly he just couldn't cope. All weekend he was extremely distressed and only managed to go in for one day the next week for a lunch club. He agreed to go in the following week for a lunch club and a lesson but just couldn't do it. He started to refuse from then on in. It was so frustrating as the school had completely gone back on their agreement from the previous year of keeping his lessons next to lunch sessions and he was devastated.
By the time it got to the next meeting I was extremely worried as to what would happen or be suggested. I have to admit it certainly wasn't pleasant as it turned into a blame the parent. So I turned it round and asked exactly what they could all do to help, exactly what support could they provide? Yes you guessed it - the most popular answer was 'ummm, errrr, well, there are no resources/funding (delete as applicable)'. Funnily enough despite the 'no funding' for resources at CAMHS and no help from her corner, the psychiartrist started to push for residential schooling! The lady from the local Education authority looked like she was about to faint at that suggestion as they certainly couldn't afford to pay out for that, so she tried to suggest more help in the way of councelling or other therapy from CAMHS who again said 'not enough staff/funding/resources'. So again they tried the blame the parent tactic at which point the SENCo said 'this is getting nowhere, someone has got to help' and suggested he visit my boy at home with a view to maybe trying a lesson there. Suddenly everyone agreed and it was left at that to be reviewed in the new year. If it wasn't a serious matter of a child's education it would be almost laughable.
To this day I will never know why but in the week after half term we recieved a phone call from the local education authority saying that they had arranged home tuition for my son and I would be contacted shortly!!! I couldn't believe it. This is exactly the break we had been hoping for as I had sought advice from the fantastic IPSEA and had been about to seek a medical letter to say my boy was unable to attend school on medical gounds (goodness knows we had enough detailed medical evidence of anxiety) and therefore they would have been duty bound to provide Home Tuition. For once we had been given something without having to push for it!!!!
My boy now has a fantastic tutor who really understands him and has taken the time to build an excellent rapport with him.
I'll let you know how it's going next time as I can hear my housework calling...
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