My boy is getting on really well with his new tutor, they are slowly but surely building a good rapport and making good progress all the time. They have started to work on subjects within the ciriculum and his tutor is very impressed. He is amazed that a child who has been out of school for so long is still ahead of his peers in many subjects. My boy seems to have a knack for just absorbing information and remembering it. Apprently the tutors job is also to try to get him back into school, but despite many attempts and copious amounts of encouragement it just isn't happening. However when he is happy and at home feeling safe they can cover lessons quickly and easily with his answers being thoughtful and mature.
We have been to another review of how things are going and even though his SENCo felt he hadn't seen any progress, ie he's not attending school, everyone else was most pleased as he's engaging in his lessons and actually learning! So much so that they suggest he choses his options (just incase he does return) and start studying with a view to taking a few GCSEs. Oh, and the emphasis is no longer on getting him to attend his school but just to get him out of the house. That should be interesting as my boy does not enjoy going out. The sensory side of things takes over when out and about not to mention the unpredictability of things and expectations required of him. All trips are a complete nightmare for him and his anxiety levels go through the roof.
Having said that tomorrow he's having his haircut, it's all a bit too hair bear bunch at the moment! Haircuts are a major sensory nightmare which he can only cope with when he feels completely ok so they are generally only attempted during school holidays when he has nothing else to stress him out. It also helps that he has gradually over time built up a real trust in our hairdresser, who's is absolutely amazing with him. Not to mention super fast with the scissors!
After that I'm hoping he'll feel ok enough to visit my parents for the afternoon, but we will see. Two outings in one day may be just a bit too much!
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Thursday, 16 February 2012
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Cobwebs and Neglect
Oh dear I appear to have been neglecting this blog somewhat and it's about time I brought it up to date. This may be a long post....
Well, things with my boy went from bad to worse as his stress and anxieties took over again. Everything started to become a bit too much as my husband needed my car as the company van was no longer his to use. This impacted on my boy severely as he has problems walking due to his hypermobility and sensory issues plus it's quite a walk to the school. I was trying to compensate for this by booking cabs to get him there and then let him walk home at his own pace after his lessons. But he was too distressed thinking about the walk home to cope with his lessons, not too mention the distress caused by cabs turning up late or getting here early and therefore getting to the school early and having to wait there. Eventually it all proved too much and he had a huge regression, shut down and refused school.
My mum kindly offered to buy me a secondhand Ka so I could get my boy to and from school and generally out and about, as by now he was refusing to leave the house as well. I certainly can't afford a car myself as due to the credit crunch/recession/whatever you want to call it my husband's own company collapsed and we were very short of cash. (Luckily he had found another job but it didn't pay any where near as well as previously). I gladly took mum up on her offer. Sadly it was already too late. I tried so hard each day to help my boy back to school but the anxiety and stress of pretty much going back to square one has taken it's toll and I was only managing to get him in occassionally each week and even then it was a huge struggle with meltdowns and panic attacks. It's so distressing to see him in this state.
A meeting was called at the school and various professionals turned up but no one had a decent suggeston other than I must get him into school more! Hmmmm as if I didn't know and hadn't tried that. The meeting was worse than useless. It was agreed I would keep trying and we would review the situation just before the summer holidays as that would give them chance to think of a solution.
The next meeting arrived and low and behold no improvement and oh yes they had no solution! No extra help or support, nothing! By now the only support we had was a Child Psychiatrist who visited once a quarter to review my boys medication. That's despite the fact that although his diagnosis is Asperger Syndrome (An autistic spectrum disorder) along with hypermobility and sensory processing disorder is techically considered by some quarters to be a mild version of autism, he is actually classed by the local education authority and his psychiatrist to be SEVERE! But there is no Occupational Therapy input for his sensory and hypermobility problems because there are no resources. If he has their expertise his sensory problems could be helped by their input and therapies. There is no other help from CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) other than to medicate because of no funding despite the fact that someone needs to help him with his anxieties and fears as to why he can't cope at school, even though he WANTS to go. As for the school the SENCo offered to visit him at home to talk it over but when the came all they did was say you must attend! Not much help there then.
So it was decided to meet again in the new school year in the hope that maybe with it being a new school year things would improve!?
September came and he managed to attend his lunch club for the 1st 3 days at which point he was given a timetable with only one accessible lesson next to a lunch club slot, the rest of the lessons were all over the place which would mean going back and forth a few times each day, which considering he was struggling with just once a day, was ridiculous. Not suprisingly he just couldn't cope. All weekend he was extremely distressed and only managed to go in for one day the next week for a lunch club. He agreed to go in the following week for a lunch club and a lesson but just couldn't do it. He started to refuse from then on in. It was so frustrating as the school had completely gone back on their agreement from the previous year of keeping his lessons next to lunch sessions and he was devastated.
By the time it got to the next meeting I was extremely worried as to what would happen or be suggested. I have to admit it certainly wasn't pleasant as it turned into a blame the parent. So I turned it round and asked exactly what they could all do to help, exactly what support could they provide? Yes you guessed it - the most popular answer was 'ummm, errrr, well, there are no resources/funding (delete as applicable)'. Funnily enough despite the 'no funding' for resources at CAMHS and no help from her corner, the psychiartrist started to push for residential schooling! The lady from the local Education authority looked like she was about to faint at that suggestion as they certainly couldn't afford to pay out for that, so she tried to suggest more help in the way of councelling or other therapy from CAMHS who again said 'not enough staff/funding/resources'. So again they tried the blame the parent tactic at which point the SENCo said 'this is getting nowhere, someone has got to help' and suggested he visit my boy at home with a view to maybe trying a lesson there. Suddenly everyone agreed and it was left at that to be reviewed in the new year. If it wasn't a serious matter of a child's education it would be almost laughable.
To this day I will never know why but in the week after half term we recieved a phone call from the local education authority saying that they had arranged home tuition for my son and I would be contacted shortly!!! I couldn't believe it. This is exactly the break we had been hoping for as I had sought advice from the fantastic IPSEA and had been about to seek a medical letter to say my boy was unable to attend school on medical gounds (goodness knows we had enough detailed medical evidence of anxiety) and therefore they would have been duty bound to provide Home Tuition. For once we had been given something without having to push for it!!!!
My boy now has a fantastic tutor who really understands him and has taken the time to build an excellent rapport with him.
I'll let you know how it's going next time as I can hear my housework calling...
Well, things with my boy went from bad to worse as his stress and anxieties took over again. Everything started to become a bit too much as my husband needed my car as the company van was no longer his to use. This impacted on my boy severely as he has problems walking due to his hypermobility and sensory issues plus it's quite a walk to the school. I was trying to compensate for this by booking cabs to get him there and then let him walk home at his own pace after his lessons. But he was too distressed thinking about the walk home to cope with his lessons, not too mention the distress caused by cabs turning up late or getting here early and therefore getting to the school early and having to wait there. Eventually it all proved too much and he had a huge regression, shut down and refused school.
My mum kindly offered to buy me a secondhand Ka so I could get my boy to and from school and generally out and about, as by now he was refusing to leave the house as well. I certainly can't afford a car myself as due to the credit crunch/recession/whatever you want to call it my husband's own company collapsed and we were very short of cash. (Luckily he had found another job but it didn't pay any where near as well as previously). I gladly took mum up on her offer. Sadly it was already too late. I tried so hard each day to help my boy back to school but the anxiety and stress of pretty much going back to square one has taken it's toll and I was only managing to get him in occassionally each week and even then it was a huge struggle with meltdowns and panic attacks. It's so distressing to see him in this state.
A meeting was called at the school and various professionals turned up but no one had a decent suggeston other than I must get him into school more! Hmmmm as if I didn't know and hadn't tried that. The meeting was worse than useless. It was agreed I would keep trying and we would review the situation just before the summer holidays as that would give them chance to think of a solution.
The next meeting arrived and low and behold no improvement and oh yes they had no solution! No extra help or support, nothing! By now the only support we had was a Child Psychiatrist who visited once a quarter to review my boys medication. That's despite the fact that although his diagnosis is Asperger Syndrome (An autistic spectrum disorder) along with hypermobility and sensory processing disorder is techically considered by some quarters to be a mild version of autism, he is actually classed by the local education authority and his psychiatrist to be SEVERE! But there is no Occupational Therapy input for his sensory and hypermobility problems because there are no resources. If he has their expertise his sensory problems could be helped by their input and therapies. There is no other help from CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) other than to medicate because of no funding despite the fact that someone needs to help him with his anxieties and fears as to why he can't cope at school, even though he WANTS to go. As for the school the SENCo offered to visit him at home to talk it over but when the came all they did was say you must attend! Not much help there then.
So it was decided to meet again in the new school year in the hope that maybe with it being a new school year things would improve!?
September came and he managed to attend his lunch club for the 1st 3 days at which point he was given a timetable with only one accessible lesson next to a lunch club slot, the rest of the lessons were all over the place which would mean going back and forth a few times each day, which considering he was struggling with just once a day, was ridiculous. Not suprisingly he just couldn't cope. All weekend he was extremely distressed and only managed to go in for one day the next week for a lunch club. He agreed to go in the following week for a lunch club and a lesson but just couldn't do it. He started to refuse from then on in. It was so frustrating as the school had completely gone back on their agreement from the previous year of keeping his lessons next to lunch sessions and he was devastated.
By the time it got to the next meeting I was extremely worried as to what would happen or be suggested. I have to admit it certainly wasn't pleasant as it turned into a blame the parent. So I turned it round and asked exactly what they could all do to help, exactly what support could they provide? Yes you guessed it - the most popular answer was 'ummm, errrr, well, there are no resources/funding (delete as applicable)'. Funnily enough despite the 'no funding' for resources at CAMHS and no help from her corner, the psychiartrist started to push for residential schooling! The lady from the local Education authority looked like she was about to faint at that suggestion as they certainly couldn't afford to pay out for that, so she tried to suggest more help in the way of councelling or other therapy from CAMHS who again said 'not enough staff/funding/resources'. So again they tried the blame the parent tactic at which point the SENCo said 'this is getting nowhere, someone has got to help' and suggested he visit my boy at home with a view to maybe trying a lesson there. Suddenly everyone agreed and it was left at that to be reviewed in the new year. If it wasn't a serious matter of a child's education it would be almost laughable.
To this day I will never know why but in the week after half term we recieved a phone call from the local education authority saying that they had arranged home tuition for my son and I would be contacted shortly!!! I couldn't believe it. This is exactly the break we had been hoping for as I had sought advice from the fantastic IPSEA and had been about to seek a medical letter to say my boy was unable to attend school on medical gounds (goodness knows we had enough detailed medical evidence of anxiety) and therefore they would have been duty bound to provide Home Tuition. For once we had been given something without having to push for it!!!!
My boy now has a fantastic tutor who really understands him and has taken the time to build an excellent rapport with him.
I'll let you know how it's going next time as I can hear my housework calling...
Saturday, 27 March 2010
Making Progress
My boy is going from strength to strength. He is being more helpful around the house, has stopped using his night light, does more for himself and is increasingly more sociable. He is gaining confidence all the time. It is wonderful to see.
With regards to school, he is visiting every Friday after school. At first he found it very hard and struggled to even talk to the teachers, but now he is quite happy to hold a conversation. He has completed a computer game with them and this week even did a reading test with a completely new teacher. The test was to gauge his reading level and I am pleased to say he is off the scale! He has also been writing a walkthrough for one of his Nintendo DS games on the laptop at home as a way of introducing him to doing some work. They were very impressed with how it had been written! They teacher that has been slowly getting to know him these last few weeks is amazed at the change in him and the amount of progress he is making.
The next step is to get him in for a lunch club session to meet some of the other pupils. He is going to take in his Nintendo DS for this as it will give him a way of relating to the others and for them to start a conversation with him. Fingers crossed it all goes well as it will be a good lead into getting back in to school and making some new friends.
After the Easter holidays the plan is to bring the Home tuition service back in to start him off on lessons within the SEN building at the school but after the normal school day and then gradually move it within the school timetable. Hopefully a new teaching assistant will be brought on board as well as he will need to get to know them before they begin to reintergrate him to the school properly.
I'm so proud that he is making these slow but sure steps forward. It feels like it has been a long time coming and everything has been against us up til now. However looking back I can now see that it was necessary for my boy to have this time to process what has been happening and get used to the idea. It has also allowed him to do things at his own pace and given him confidence in his own abilities to cope with what we are asking of him.
One very proud and happy mum!
With regards to school, he is visiting every Friday after school. At first he found it very hard and struggled to even talk to the teachers, but now he is quite happy to hold a conversation. He has completed a computer game with them and this week even did a reading test with a completely new teacher. The test was to gauge his reading level and I am pleased to say he is off the scale! He has also been writing a walkthrough for one of his Nintendo DS games on the laptop at home as a way of introducing him to doing some work. They were very impressed with how it had been written! They teacher that has been slowly getting to know him these last few weeks is amazed at the change in him and the amount of progress he is making.
The next step is to get him in for a lunch club session to meet some of the other pupils. He is going to take in his Nintendo DS for this as it will give him a way of relating to the others and for them to start a conversation with him. Fingers crossed it all goes well as it will be a good lead into getting back in to school and making some new friends.
After the Easter holidays the plan is to bring the Home tuition service back in to start him off on lessons within the SEN building at the school but after the normal school day and then gradually move it within the school timetable. Hopefully a new teaching assistant will be brought on board as well as he will need to get to know them before they begin to reintergrate him to the school properly.
I'm so proud that he is making these slow but sure steps forward. It feels like it has been a long time coming and everything has been against us up til now. However looking back I can now see that it was necessary for my boy to have this time to process what has been happening and get used to the idea. It has also allowed him to do things at his own pace and given him confidence in his own abilities to cope with what we are asking of him.
One very proud and happy mum!
Wednesday, 11 November 2009
A Rollercoaster Ride
Well the last few weeks have been a bit of a rollercoaster ride since the passing of our beloved cat, Harley. It was such a devastating loss for our boy that he just fell apart under the weight of his grief.
He was staying awake for 24hrs, then sleeping for 12hrs. He wouldn't leave his room. Refused to get dressed, do his lessons, barely ate. He was so angry and just didn't know how to deal with it. Luckily he didn't become violent, just depressed, which wasn't good but better than hitting us or harming himself.
It has taken a good 6 weeks for him to get through this. We tried everything. Looking at old photos of the cat and talking about the daft things she used to do. These seemed to help. But by far and away the best thing was the sleeping cat memorial stone we ordered for her grave. It is beautiful. Black with gold flecks. My boy decided it was far to good for the garden so it is now on the hearth in front of the fireplace and I have to admit it looks just perfect there. As if it should always have been in that exact spot. We have now picked out another stone for the garden as we don't want her grave to be bare. Since the stone cat arrived he's been much calmer and started to get back to normal. The addition of medication has helped.
'Due to his behaviour' (the exact wording from head of home tuition dept) his home tutors have been withdrawn because he wasn't engaging in the lessons. She didn't seem to understand that he is a child trying to grieve that doesn't know how to interpret his emotions, or how great a loss this was for him. To her it was only a cat, to my boy our cat was his closest friend, who only ever gave comfort and never judged. She was there at the end of his bed waiting to greet him every morning when he awoke, sat with him being stroked and helping him to remain calm with her relaxing purr during lessons, and snuggled up to him as he drifted off to sleep every night. However this head of dept could only see a naughty child who refused lessons. The tutors were withdrawn just as he was beginning to make an effort to take part again. He'd even nearly managed the full hour of his lesson but that wasn't good enough. When I told him what had happened he was very upset and quite angry as he'd tried so hard to get back into his learning. It was totally demoralising. He just couldn't understand it. So yet again he is without an education.
There was a meeting at his new school this week and I am pleased to say that his new SENCo was fantastic, as was his Psychologist. They supported everything that I said concerning his grief and the need for him to work his way through it. His psychologist even added that due to his autism he is a child with severe problems relating to the processing of emotions along with his social communication difficulties that it is totally understandable that he struggled with how to cope with his grief. They also argued that to 'slap him in the face' by removing his tutor just as he was starting to recover was wrong in the extreme. However, even this hasn't led to his lessons resuming. They want him to start integrating back into the school environment first with his lessons taking place in the local public library which is located within the school premises once he has got used to going there and spending time with his TA. (Fortunately he used to visit the library quite often and has just started doing so again.) Considering the home tuition departments title is 'Integration Support' you would expect them to do this as it is within their remit, but sadly no, they have firmly off loaded my boy onto the school. Playing pass the buck and forgetting the child in the middle of all this.
All is not lost as the school SENCo is so helpful and accommodating. We have put a plan in place and we will action it ourselves, which will mean that the school will have control over this and we can go at my boys pace. I'm fully expecting the anxiety levels to escalate but we will have to see.
The medication he has recently started taking has certainly helped him as he is going out for a short while each day. He even managed a visit to my parents' house, something that hasn't happened in over a year. We are trying to keep up the momentum with his trips out and a having started off with things that he used to like doing we will start to add in new outings each week in an effort to build his confidence. However we will also make sure that he has quiet time to himself that will allow him to process everything and help him to adjust to the new routines within the week. Let's hope this is the start of a more confident child.
He was staying awake for 24hrs, then sleeping for 12hrs. He wouldn't leave his room. Refused to get dressed, do his lessons, barely ate. He was so angry and just didn't know how to deal with it. Luckily he didn't become violent, just depressed, which wasn't good but better than hitting us or harming himself.
It has taken a good 6 weeks for him to get through this. We tried everything. Looking at old photos of the cat and talking about the daft things she used to do. These seemed to help. But by far and away the best thing was the sleeping cat memorial stone we ordered for her grave. It is beautiful. Black with gold flecks. My boy decided it was far to good for the garden so it is now on the hearth in front of the fireplace and I have to admit it looks just perfect there. As if it should always have been in that exact spot. We have now picked out another stone for the garden as we don't want her grave to be bare. Since the stone cat arrived he's been much calmer and started to get back to normal. The addition of medication has helped.
'Due to his behaviour' (the exact wording from head of home tuition dept) his home tutors have been withdrawn because he wasn't engaging in the lessons. She didn't seem to understand that he is a child trying to grieve that doesn't know how to interpret his emotions, or how great a loss this was for him. To her it was only a cat, to my boy our cat was his closest friend, who only ever gave comfort and never judged. She was there at the end of his bed waiting to greet him every morning when he awoke, sat with him being stroked and helping him to remain calm with her relaxing purr during lessons, and snuggled up to him as he drifted off to sleep every night. However this head of dept could only see a naughty child who refused lessons. The tutors were withdrawn just as he was beginning to make an effort to take part again. He'd even nearly managed the full hour of his lesson but that wasn't good enough. When I told him what had happened he was very upset and quite angry as he'd tried so hard to get back into his learning. It was totally demoralising. He just couldn't understand it. So yet again he is without an education.
There was a meeting at his new school this week and I am pleased to say that his new SENCo was fantastic, as was his Psychologist. They supported everything that I said concerning his grief and the need for him to work his way through it. His psychologist even added that due to his autism he is a child with severe problems relating to the processing of emotions along with his social communication difficulties that it is totally understandable that he struggled with how to cope with his grief. They also argued that to 'slap him in the face' by removing his tutor just as he was starting to recover was wrong in the extreme. However, even this hasn't led to his lessons resuming. They want him to start integrating back into the school environment first with his lessons taking place in the local public library which is located within the school premises once he has got used to going there and spending time with his TA. (Fortunately he used to visit the library quite often and has just started doing so again.) Considering the home tuition departments title is 'Integration Support' you would expect them to do this as it is within their remit, but sadly no, they have firmly off loaded my boy onto the school. Playing pass the buck and forgetting the child in the middle of all this.
All is not lost as the school SENCo is so helpful and accommodating. We have put a plan in place and we will action it ourselves, which will mean that the school will have control over this and we can go at my boys pace. I'm fully expecting the anxiety levels to escalate but we will have to see.
The medication he has recently started taking has certainly helped him as he is going out for a short while each day. He even managed a visit to my parents' house, something that hasn't happened in over a year. We are trying to keep up the momentum with his trips out and a having started off with things that he used to like doing we will start to add in new outings each week in an effort to build his confidence. However we will also make sure that he has quiet time to himself that will allow him to process everything and help him to adjust to the new routines within the week. Let's hope this is the start of a more confident child.
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