Oh dear I appear to have been neglecting this blog somewhat and it's about time I brought it up to date. This may be a long post....
Well, things with my boy went from bad to worse as his stress and anxieties took over again. Everything started to become a bit too much as my husband needed my car as the company van was no longer his to use. This impacted on my boy severely as he has problems walking due to his hypermobility and sensory issues plus it's quite a walk to the school. I was trying to compensate for this by booking cabs to get him there and then let him walk home at his own pace after his lessons. But he was too distressed thinking about the walk home to cope with his lessons, not too mention the distress caused by cabs turning up late or getting here early and therefore getting to the school early and having to wait there. Eventually it all proved too much and he had a huge regression, shut down and refused school.
My mum kindly offered to buy me a secondhand Ka so I could get my boy to and from school and generally out and about, as by now he was refusing to leave the house as well. I certainly can't afford a car myself as due to the credit crunch/recession/whatever you want to call it my husband's own company collapsed and we were very short of cash. (Luckily he had found another job but it didn't pay any where near as well as previously). I gladly took mum up on her offer. Sadly it was already too late. I tried so hard each day to help my boy back to school but the anxiety and stress of pretty much going back to square one has taken it's toll and I was only managing to get him in occassionally each week and even then it was a huge struggle with meltdowns and panic attacks. It's so distressing to see him in this state.
A meeting was called at the school and various professionals turned up but no one had a decent suggeston other than I must get him into school more! Hmmmm as if I didn't know and hadn't tried that. The meeting was worse than useless. It was agreed I would keep trying and we would review the situation just before the summer holidays as that would give them chance to think of a solution.
The next meeting arrived and low and behold no improvement and oh yes they had no solution! No extra help or support, nothing! By now the only support we had was a Child Psychiatrist who visited once a quarter to review my boys medication. That's despite the fact that although his diagnosis is Asperger Syndrome (An autistic spectrum disorder) along with hypermobility and sensory processing disorder is techically considered by some quarters to be a mild version of autism, he is actually classed by the local education authority and his psychiatrist to be SEVERE! But there is no Occupational Therapy input for his sensory and hypermobility problems because there are no resources. If he has their expertise his sensory problems could be helped by their input and therapies. There is no other help from CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service) other than to medicate because of no funding despite the fact that someone needs to help him with his anxieties and fears as to why he can't cope at school, even though he WANTS to go. As for the school the SENCo offered to visit him at home to talk it over but when the came all they did was say you must attend! Not much help there then.
So it was decided to meet again in the new school year in the hope that maybe with it being a new school year things would improve!?
September came and he managed to attend his lunch club for the 1st 3 days at which point he was given a timetable with only one accessible lesson next to a lunch club slot, the rest of the lessons were all over the place which would mean going back and forth a few times each day, which considering he was struggling with just once a day, was ridiculous. Not suprisingly he just couldn't cope. All weekend he was extremely distressed and only managed to go in for one day the next week for a lunch club. He agreed to go in the following week for a lunch club and a lesson but just couldn't do it. He started to refuse from then on in. It was so frustrating as the school had completely gone back on their agreement from the previous year of keeping his lessons next to lunch sessions and he was devastated.
By the time it got to the next meeting I was extremely worried as to what would happen or be suggested. I have to admit it certainly wasn't pleasant as it turned into a blame the parent. So I turned it round and asked exactly what they could all do to help, exactly what support could they provide? Yes you guessed it - the most popular answer was 'ummm, errrr, well, there are no resources/funding (delete as applicable)'. Funnily enough despite the 'no funding' for resources at CAMHS and no help from her corner, the psychiartrist started to push for residential schooling! The lady from the local Education authority looked like she was about to faint at that suggestion as they certainly couldn't afford to pay out for that, so she tried to suggest more help in the way of councelling or other therapy from CAMHS who again said 'not enough staff/funding/resources'. So again they tried the blame the parent tactic at which point the SENCo said 'this is getting nowhere, someone has got to help' and suggested he visit my boy at home with a view to maybe trying a lesson there. Suddenly everyone agreed and it was left at that to be reviewed in the new year. If it wasn't a serious matter of a child's education it would be almost laughable.
To this day I will never know why but in the week after half term we recieved a phone call from the local education authority saying that they had arranged home tuition for my son and I would be contacted shortly!!! I couldn't believe it. This is exactly the break we had been hoping for as I had sought advice from the fantastic IPSEA and had been about to seek a medical letter to say my boy was unable to attend school on medical gounds (goodness knows we had enough detailed medical evidence of anxiety) and therefore they would have been duty bound to provide Home Tuition. For once we had been given something without having to push for it!!!!
My boy now has a fantastic tutor who really understands him and has taken the time to build an excellent rapport with him.
I'll let you know how it's going next time as I can hear my housework calling...
Showing posts with label new school term. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new school term. Show all posts
Thursday, 2 February 2012
Sunday, 16 January 2011
Happy New Year!
We have all had a lovely Christmas and are looking forward to all the promise that a new year brings.
My boy is now started the new school term and has struggled to say the least. I did mention a problem in my last post and we have now got to the crux of the problem. He is not enjoying the maths lessons, much preferring the english lesson. He says that in the english lesson he is able to talk to the other pupils in his group and likes them, but doesn't feel that he has had this chance within his maths lessons. He has agreed to keep one of the Maths lessons as the subject is compulsory but swap the other for another english lesson which will give him the chance to get to know the other group of kids. This should help increase his confidence and from there he will hopefully add that lesson back into his timetable at a later date. I am so pleased that he has been able to think this through himself and state his case sensibly and with great thought to how he feels. A first for him as normally he wouldn't be able to say why he feels this way. It just proves that his medication has helped and given him the basis to keep calm and think rationally. Anxietywise the medication does have an effect but doesn't take it all away as he has still been rather stressed over this. His sleep being the first thing to suffer and so from there, of course, mine too!
The best bit about his decision is that it means his time in school on one day will increase as it means, due to the way the timetable is set, that he will have a maths lesson, lunch club and then his english lesson. Hopefully this will help as we gradually increase his timetable. So even though we have made a side step in changing a lesson for one that he enjoys more, we have also made a step forward in the amount of time spent in school on any one day.
Onwards and upwards! As they say :o)
My boy is now started the new school term and has struggled to say the least. I did mention a problem in my last post and we have now got to the crux of the problem. He is not enjoying the maths lessons, much preferring the english lesson. He says that in the english lesson he is able to talk to the other pupils in his group and likes them, but doesn't feel that he has had this chance within his maths lessons. He has agreed to keep one of the Maths lessons as the subject is compulsory but swap the other for another english lesson which will give him the chance to get to know the other group of kids. This should help increase his confidence and from there he will hopefully add that lesson back into his timetable at a later date. I am so pleased that he has been able to think this through himself and state his case sensibly and with great thought to how he feels. A first for him as normally he wouldn't be able to say why he feels this way. It just proves that his medication has helped and given him the basis to keep calm and think rationally. Anxietywise the medication does have an effect but doesn't take it all away as he has still been rather stressed over this. His sleep being the first thing to suffer and so from there, of course, mine too!
The best bit about his decision is that it means his time in school on one day will increase as it means, due to the way the timetable is set, that he will have a maths lesson, lunch club and then his english lesson. Hopefully this will help as we gradually increase his timetable. So even though we have made a side step in changing a lesson for one that he enjoys more, we have also made a step forward in the amount of time spent in school on any one day.
Onwards and upwards! As they say :o)
Long Time No Post
Well it's been ages since my last post and so much has happened that I thought it was about time I got a wiggle on and brought this blog up to date!
Since the summer holidays my boy settled back to lunch club every day and after the first couple of weeks managed to do a lesson with other kids in the class. This was to be weekly. A couple of weeks more and he asked to add another lesson to his timetable. Making good progress and gradually becoming more confident in class by contributing to the lesson with his own comments. As he felt more able he then read aloud in class when asked. I am so pleased with his progress. It has been slow but that is how he needs to take it.
After the Autumn half term he again agreed to add another lesson. Then we hit a bit of a wall. He has found the two maths lessons on his timetable a bit of a struggle and it took us a while to work out why. Before we could get to the bottom of it he was rather poorly, which took a week for him to get over. He went back into school on the Monday only to be off the rest of the week as the school closed due to a very heavy snowfall which increased as the week passed. Great fun for the kids! It did have a very adverse effect on my boy though as we lost the consistant routine that he really needs. He struggled to get back into the swing of things the following week and did refuse on odd days but when it came to the finak week before the Christmas holidays he did manage every day!
Overall fantastic progress has been made this year, especially considering that in January we could barely mention school without him getting very distressed. Now he goes in most days for lunch club and has added in three lessons each week within a small group of children. And all this within a large mainstream school.
I am one very proud mum and so incredibly grateful to the patience and hard work of the school SENCo and staff of the supportive education department. Without their hard work and gentle encouragement my boy would never of had the confidence to make this progress. He has even admitted that he does trust them to want to help him with his best interests at heart. He also trusts them to do the right thing for him. This from a child (Ok teenager, because he turned 13 this year) who up until now trusted no one within education after his previous experiences. All in all a good year!
Since the summer holidays my boy settled back to lunch club every day and after the first couple of weeks managed to do a lesson with other kids in the class. This was to be weekly. A couple of weeks more and he asked to add another lesson to his timetable. Making good progress and gradually becoming more confident in class by contributing to the lesson with his own comments. As he felt more able he then read aloud in class when asked. I am so pleased with his progress. It has been slow but that is how he needs to take it.
After the Autumn half term he again agreed to add another lesson. Then we hit a bit of a wall. He has found the two maths lessons on his timetable a bit of a struggle and it took us a while to work out why. Before we could get to the bottom of it he was rather poorly, which took a week for him to get over. He went back into school on the Monday only to be off the rest of the week as the school closed due to a very heavy snowfall which increased as the week passed. Great fun for the kids! It did have a very adverse effect on my boy though as we lost the consistant routine that he really needs. He struggled to get back into the swing of things the following week and did refuse on odd days but when it came to the finak week before the Christmas holidays he did manage every day!
Overall fantastic progress has been made this year, especially considering that in January we could barely mention school without him getting very distressed. Now he goes in most days for lunch club and has added in three lessons each week within a small group of children. And all this within a large mainstream school.
I am one very proud mum and so incredibly grateful to the patience and hard work of the school SENCo and staff of the supportive education department. Without their hard work and gentle encouragement my boy would never of had the confidence to make this progress. He has even admitted that he does trust them to want to help him with his best interests at heart. He also trusts them to do the right thing for him. This from a child (Ok teenager, because he turned 13 this year) who up until now trusted no one within education after his previous experiences. All in all a good year!
Monday, 7 September 2009
Sleep....... Please and a New Term
The sleep issue went from bad to worse until my boy was awake all night and not getting up til 3pm in the afternoon. I was feeling permanently exhausted. Desperate times called for desperate measures, especially as the new term was looming. I couldn't get him to sleep any earlier as that is one of his problems, his body doesn't make enough melatonin to get his ready for sleep. Trying to wake him up earlier was a no go as well, it just doesn't work. The only option was left was to keep him awake for longer and push his sleep round that way.
I kept him awake til 10 am the first day with sleep until 6pm.
The next day he was awake til 1.30pm with sleep until 8.30pm.
Then it was 4pm with sleep til 9.30pm.
Then for a finale he stayed awake til 7pm and slept right round til 7.30 am as he was so exhausted.
As for me, well I now know what jet lag feels like!
New term started today and I was a bit worried as to how it would go. I needn't have stressed over it as he settled into his lesson like a dream. I think he's missed the routine of it, although he wouldn't admit it if asked. I just hope that things stay this way. Also the new routine of getting up early and actually having three meals a day has cut down on his snacking on rubbish. He was a pleasure to be around today, he helped to make cakes and even carried my shopping in from the car. I am so proud of all he has achieved today and have told him so. He really enjoyed the praise and I hope this helps to raise his confidence.
Things seem to be on the up at last.
I kept him awake til 10 am the first day with sleep until 6pm.
The next day he was awake til 1.30pm with sleep until 8.30pm.
Then it was 4pm with sleep til 9.30pm.
Then for a finale he stayed awake til 7pm and slept right round til 7.30 am as he was so exhausted.
As for me, well I now know what jet lag feels like!
New term started today and I was a bit worried as to how it would go. I needn't have stressed over it as he settled into his lesson like a dream. I think he's missed the routine of it, although he wouldn't admit it if asked. I just hope that things stay this way. Also the new routine of getting up early and actually having three meals a day has cut down on his snacking on rubbish. He was a pleasure to be around today, he helped to make cakes and even carried my shopping in from the car. I am so proud of all he has achieved today and have told him so. He really enjoyed the praise and I hope this helps to raise his confidence.
Things seem to be on the up at last.
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